Ok yeah I'm back possibly for good. Umm to all those who tried advising me here thanks, really, but i never did quite ask for help. but yeah you're concern is much appreciated.

Life's been ok, but its still as ever the maze of torments. I switched around the positioning of my huge-ass drum set and its neater now, including my room. I can access it more easily and bring my laptop beside it and hook up and play along to songs. Sorry neighbours, if you ever read this, but I'll make it up to you when i become famous! haha.

School's always a constant pain in the ass, and yeah i cant be bothered really to talk about it. Just wish I had taken the smarter path to have done poly. Anyway yeah.

And maybe some of those concerned might somehow stumble upon this entry, i dont know, but yeah thanks so much for making me feel worthless and like my lifeform doesnt matter to anyone. Those whom I care for so much in a platonic way, hardly expecting anything, totally just forgot about me and went with others. Ok this may sound abstract and all but those close to me should understand. 2007 is by far a fucked up year in my life. Sometimes I dont see the point of living or having friends or caring for things or people. Sorry if i piss off anyone. But yeah there are still those who obviously matter. J, K, K thanks for always being there. And more recently N has been wonderful and nice to me so yeah the 4 of whom should know who they are, thanks yeah!

the rest, hmm fuck off? nah dont bother. smile.

i think this song and the vid can make you go into a trance. LOL cool by my standards! Its called Do The Cosmonauty!

Ok no disrespect to the Infamous Marilyn Manson, but I read this article about him moaning about having a tough life and shit like that just because his stripper wife left him. Let me quote abit,

"I was clearly at the point where I was ready to give up, and it wasn't that I didn't have the motivation to ... it was almost as if I couldn't bring myself to make a conclusion," Manson explained. "I can look back on it now like it was a different person, and I refuse to ever get to that place again. But it was mostly because I didn't feel that I had someone who was going to walk with me through the horrible reality that we live in. Did I want to kill myself? Yes. Did I come close to doing that? More than I'd like to think. The only thing I can say about it is, I feel like maybe I wasn't strong enough to make that choice. I guess I was just more lost than anything. I didn't have anything to attach myself to. I didn't have any emotions or fears — nothing to have hope for.

Article taken from Blabbermouth

Ok seriously fuck you, you wanna live my life? struggly for money, struggle to keep the friends you have, repeat jc in this school and in this country, see most of the people u care for not give a fuck about you? I would gladly take your life anyday, rockstardom, hot babes falling at your feet and following your every command, money, booze, you name it! ok anyway yeah i guess he  has his moments to cry too. cheer up Mr Brian Hugh Warner aka Marilyn Manson, i think your music has been always good and your latest is awesome, though rather depressing.

On a more lighter note, I'm quite sure I dont matter much to many people whom have mattered to me before. and now that leaves me with a deep depressing hole to fall through after just falling through the first level. Those who know the band Meshuggah should take a listen to them, their music somehow is like a soundtrack to my life. too complicated but depressing and downward spiralling.

do i have to explain myself? maybe the only thing that doesnt give this a 200/100 mark is the Zildjian brand, coz i'm a Sabian Person, but do I look like I care? :D

Haha omg today after coming home i went to my sister's room to check and play with her hamsters... and my have they grown... then when i looked at one of the cage i noticed a small lump of the bedding thing (the hay thing) wriggling and moving about... my first reaction was i thought bugs or sth... so i opened the cage and looked inside, and to my amazement i spotted 3 LITTLE SQUIRMING HAMSTER BABIES!!! omg they were so cute and precious and tiny! they still didnt have fur or anything... so i was damn amazed and ran and told my mum who was downstairs... she shrieked! haha serious, but i think she was more amazed than shocked! so she also ran up and checked it out... i called my sis and was like relaying the good news that she had become a mother! hahahahahahaha because she treats the hamsters like her kids... so yeah there so much confusion and not knowing what to do... first we seperated the mum and dad, but then the mum was going crazy after we took her out... so we put her back and at first she went FUCKING INSANE and was jumping and trying so hard to bit the lid off and try to escape... and the mother hamster tried to actually jump and walk on two feet! hahahaha then she tamed down, maybe initially being angry for being seperated from her kiddies... so yeah then i went to sleep and yeah my sis came back and she's taking care of them now i think! haha

So yeap, in other news, i saw that girl again today in school for a very brief moment! and why does it seem like its only because of PE we see each other? haha I DONT HAVE PE TOMORROW, THURS & on FRIDAY!! lol ok so yeah, i slept too much today for my nap... ended up sleeping like 4 hours! hahaha woohoo! sleeping rocks! and i drank 750ml of bandung a.k.a 3 packets of bandung! Bandung is a price inelatic good for me! even if u raised it to 50 bucks per packet, i would kill to drink it! yay bandung and milo and tiger beer!


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    Bandung       +              Milo            +          Tiger Beer                 =     Happy Prabs (this is the only pic of me smiling)